So earlier this school year, around late October/early November I experimented with Literature Circles. Now I say I was "experimenting" because it didn't go so well. One specific component of the Lit. Circles was the task of Making Connections. For some reason it was really difficult for me to teach Making Connections. I think the problem had to do with lack of modeling, poor examples, and the fact that I didn't spend enough time really exploring the kinds of connections students can make and discussing and applying how connections fit into students' schemas.
In addition, my management of the Lit. Circles was fairly poor. Also, I wasn't entirely sure of my students' reading abilities the first time I administered Lit. Circles. Lastly, I used school novels which are falling apart and have huge clumps of pages missing. Therefore, my students weren't motivated to fulfill their responsibilities.
About two weeks ago I began reading class novels with my students. Periods 2 and 3 are reading The Teacher's Funeral by Richard Peck, periods 5 and 6 are reading Shakespeare's Secret by Elise Broach and period 7 is reading Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate Dicamillo. This time, I have organized the book reading much more like a Book Club than a Lit. Circle. The students and I like it a lot better.
For starters, we are all reading the same book at the same pace. Most of the time we read aloud, but on one day of the week students are responsible for reading a chapter or two by themselves. Students reading levels have greatly improved which gives them the confidence to read aloud, the capacity to think past word recognition, and comprehend and apply what they’re reading.
My students are also held more accountable for the information they read. Therefore, they have more interest vested in reading.
Furthermore, I’m now a more experienced teacher. I know how to keep my students interested, constantly check for comprehension, ensure that they are making connections to keep up motivation and to demonstrate the novel’s relevance in their lives.
I’m looking forward to trying Lit. Circles again next year, but I think it will be a two month process instead of a two week process.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Cody
This story involves a student named Cody. Cody is pretty close to an excellent student. He comes to school on most days, he is always in uniform, he completes at least 95% of his work in content classes, and he is very polite, most of the time.
However, there are sometimes when Cody is far less than polite. Cody has a very serious temper problem. He has been known to throw raging fits and uproars all across the building. He usually ends up doing more harm to himself than anyone around him. However, other students are still emotionally and mentally affected by his actions. Also, teachers are starting to become disturbed and increasingly worried about Cody’s health because these acts are so random in that one minute he is perfectly fine and the next minute he may be banging his head against the floor or punching the wall with his bare hands.
I too am worried or was worried. However, I have to selfishly admit that my worrying wasn’t as sincere as it should have been because Cody has never thrown a temper tantrum in my room. We always had a great student-teacher relationship. I also held a great relationship with Cody’s mom. We had several conversations about Cody’s behavior in everyone else’s class. She told me one issue was that Cody has a problem with male authority. I agreed with his mom and we almost always ended our conversations with no objective and/or written resolutions.
It was February before his mom or I decided that a specific plan of action needed to be taken. The reason: Cody finally decided to throw a temper tantrum in my classroom.
It began with Cody and another female student having a minor spat about a desk. I asked Cody to move and sit closer to me as I always do and he said, “But I was here first.” I thought nothing of it and continued to wait for Cody to move using my teacher evil eye. After all, a 6th grade teachers hears, “But I was here first” a million times a day. Cody didn’t move this time. My third prompt was for Cody to take a step outside to calm down. I could tell that he was approaching his temper stage and we agreed previously that he would go outside when this occurred. Cody didn’t move. At this point, my mind and heart became fearful. Then I asked Cody if I needed to call the security guard to escort him out. He remained as still as the wooden desk he was just fighting for. When I walked over to buzz the main office, Cody got up in a rage like never before. He threw his Communication Arts textbook clear across the room and his pencil in the opposite direction. Even though my room is carpeted, Cody managed to throw the pencil with such vigor that it broke in three places. He slammed my door open and began banging his head against the lockers.
I was furious because I could not handle this problem the way I would with a child in my family or at home. I was sad because as far as I was concerned, Cody’s relationship with me ended in a matter of unthoughtful seconds. I was frustrated because I knew that he didn’t mean to do it, but because no one had ever dared to do anything like this in my room, my students were anxiously awaiting my reaction as well as Cody’s consequence. I had to make an example- an extreme example. Coincidentally, he was the first and the last. I wrote a behavior infraction referral on Cody as well as a referral for Lumina Counseling. This was my first and last referral as well. Cody received three days of In School Suspension and three days of full length lunch detention with me. He wrote me an apology letter and I acknowledged it by saying thank you and letting him know that it would take a long time for our relationship to resume in total normality. He nodded in approval.
Since then, I haven’t had any real issues with Cody. Eventually, the counselor and I urged his mother to consent to Lumina Counseling for Cody. Everything sounds well right?
Wrong. While Cody hasn’t had any infractions in my classroom, he is still busy throwing massive temper tantrums with other teachers in the building. The consequences for Cody are limited because he rarely hurts anyone except for himself. The problem is that his disruption to the learning environment is fierce. Furthermore, a few other students see this and are starting to think they too can get away with that kind of behavior. What do we do?
However, there are sometimes when Cody is far less than polite. Cody has a very serious temper problem. He has been known to throw raging fits and uproars all across the building. He usually ends up doing more harm to himself than anyone around him. However, other students are still emotionally and mentally affected by his actions. Also, teachers are starting to become disturbed and increasingly worried about Cody’s health because these acts are so random in that one minute he is perfectly fine and the next minute he may be banging his head against the floor or punching the wall with his bare hands.
I too am worried or was worried. However, I have to selfishly admit that my worrying wasn’t as sincere as it should have been because Cody has never thrown a temper tantrum in my room. We always had a great student-teacher relationship. I also held a great relationship with Cody’s mom. We had several conversations about Cody’s behavior in everyone else’s class. She told me one issue was that Cody has a problem with male authority. I agreed with his mom and we almost always ended our conversations with no objective and/or written resolutions.
It was February before his mom or I decided that a specific plan of action needed to be taken. The reason: Cody finally decided to throw a temper tantrum in my classroom.
It began with Cody and another female student having a minor spat about a desk. I asked Cody to move and sit closer to me as I always do and he said, “But I was here first.” I thought nothing of it and continued to wait for Cody to move using my teacher evil eye. After all, a 6th grade teachers hears, “But I was here first” a million times a day. Cody didn’t move this time. My third prompt was for Cody to take a step outside to calm down. I could tell that he was approaching his temper stage and we agreed previously that he would go outside when this occurred. Cody didn’t move. At this point, my mind and heart became fearful. Then I asked Cody if I needed to call the security guard to escort him out. He remained as still as the wooden desk he was just fighting for. When I walked over to buzz the main office, Cody got up in a rage like never before. He threw his Communication Arts textbook clear across the room and his pencil in the opposite direction. Even though my room is carpeted, Cody managed to throw the pencil with such vigor that it broke in three places. He slammed my door open and began banging his head against the lockers.
I was furious because I could not handle this problem the way I would with a child in my family or at home. I was sad because as far as I was concerned, Cody’s relationship with me ended in a matter of unthoughtful seconds. I was frustrated because I knew that he didn’t mean to do it, but because no one had ever dared to do anything like this in my room, my students were anxiously awaiting my reaction as well as Cody’s consequence. I had to make an example- an extreme example. Coincidentally, he was the first and the last. I wrote a behavior infraction referral on Cody as well as a referral for Lumina Counseling. This was my first and last referral as well. Cody received three days of In School Suspension and three days of full length lunch detention with me. He wrote me an apology letter and I acknowledged it by saying thank you and letting him know that it would take a long time for our relationship to resume in total normality. He nodded in approval.
Since then, I haven’t had any real issues with Cody. Eventually, the counselor and I urged his mother to consent to Lumina Counseling for Cody. Everything sounds well right?
Wrong. While Cody hasn’t had any infractions in my classroom, he is still busy throwing massive temper tantrums with other teachers in the building. The consequences for Cody are limited because he rarely hurts anyone except for himself. The problem is that his disruption to the learning environment is fierce. Furthermore, a few other students see this and are starting to think they too can get away with that kind of behavior. What do we do?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Benchmarks, Benchmarks
It's been almost a month since the Benchmark frenzy at my school. My kids improved a whopping 12% in less than four weeks. 58 out of 59 students improved their test scores in either their Overall Assessment, Information Literacy, Reading, or Writing. 35 of my 59 students improved by 10% or more on their Overall Assessment which is 59% of my total population.
More data on my students:
Positives Areas for Improvement
ü 6th graders improved by 10% since the last Predictive Benchmark, resulting in an overall score of 56%.
We are striving for a minimum overall score of 76%.
ü 6th graders improved by 11% in the area of Reading, resulting in an overall reading score of 54%.
We need to increase our Reading score by 22%.
ü 6th graders improved by 3% in the area of Writing, resulting in an overall reading score of 62%.
We need to increase our Writing score by 14%.
ü 6th graders improved by 4% since the last Diagnostic Benchmark.
ü Currently, there are NO 6th graders testing in Tier 1!
ü Currently, there are 21 6th graders testing in Tier 3!
ü Currently, there are 9 6th graders testing in Tier 4!
More data on my students:
Positives Areas for Improvement
ü 6th graders improved by 10% since the last Predictive Benchmark, resulting in an overall score of 56%.
We are striving for a minimum overall score of 76%.
ü 6th graders improved by 11% in the area of Reading, resulting in an overall reading score of 54%.
We need to increase our Reading score by 22%.
ü 6th graders improved by 3% in the area of Writing, resulting in an overall reading score of 62%.
We need to increase our Writing score by 14%.
ü 6th graders improved by 4% since the last Diagnostic Benchmark.
ü Currently, there are NO 6th graders testing in Tier 1!
ü Currently, there are 21 6th graders testing in Tier 3!
ü Currently, there are 9 6th graders testing in Tier 4!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
It Goes a Little Something Like This...
Here’s a quick, but accurate summary of how the year has gone in regards to emotions and sentiments.
August- I’m going to save the entire school from a state take over.
September- I’m tired, but I have to stay in the race to save the whole school from state take over. My kids are very different.
October- I’m tired. I don’t think I can save everyone. For lack of a better term, I think my kids are “slow”. Maybe I’ll just stick to trying to save my kids.
November- Did I miss Thanksgiving Break? When is it already? Can I really save all of my kids? “I think I can, I think I can, I think- I can.” I have to hang in there!
December- Have I really been teaching for three months? Why did they let me in the classroom again? I just need about a week to sleep, a whole week and then I’ll be fine. What’s all the fuss about Benchmarks?
January- I’m back. Things are different. I had soooooooooo much fun over break. I haven’t had this much fun since graduation weekend in May. Teaching has caused me to lose the fun part of my life. I don’t want to go back. Let’s call off sick the first day back to school. What am I going to do next year because it is definitely not teaching?! If I could growl I would. Don’t get me wrong, teaching is nice, but this is no way to live your life, at least mine. I’m exhausted all the time, I never have time to exercise, and I don’t hang out with my friends anymore. On top of all of this, I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately to get my students’ Benchmarks scores up. I only have a little less than four weeks to increase their overall score. Did I mention that I can’t save all of my kids?
February- Okay, this is getting a lot easier. I have been utilizing the Pacing Guide which gives me 1000 topics to teach in four weeks. I’ve managed to teach 12 of the 1000 topics. Apparently, this was just right because my kids increased their scores by 12%. I’m speechless. So are my kids, so is the administration, so is everyone else in the building. We haven’t stopped getting compliments. This is getting a lot better. Especially since my friends and I started the “Let’s Not Become Old Hags in our Twenties” Club. In this club, we force each other to do “undergradish” activities for at least eight hours a week. It’s been working out great. We’re coming up on March and another Benchmark test, the MAP, and the SRI. Let’s see what happens.
August- I’m going to save the entire school from a state take over.
September- I’m tired, but I have to stay in the race to save the whole school from state take over. My kids are very different.
October- I’m tired. I don’t think I can save everyone. For lack of a better term, I think my kids are “slow”. Maybe I’ll just stick to trying to save my kids.
November- Did I miss Thanksgiving Break? When is it already? Can I really save all of my kids? “I think I can, I think I can, I think- I can.” I have to hang in there!
December- Have I really been teaching for three months? Why did they let me in the classroom again? I just need about a week to sleep, a whole week and then I’ll be fine. What’s all the fuss about Benchmarks?
January- I’m back. Things are different. I had soooooooooo much fun over break. I haven’t had this much fun since graduation weekend in May. Teaching has caused me to lose the fun part of my life. I don’t want to go back. Let’s call off sick the first day back to school. What am I going to do next year because it is definitely not teaching?! If I could growl I would. Don’t get me wrong, teaching is nice, but this is no way to live your life, at least mine. I’m exhausted all the time, I never have time to exercise, and I don’t hang out with my friends anymore. On top of all of this, I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately to get my students’ Benchmarks scores up. I only have a little less than four weeks to increase their overall score. Did I mention that I can’t save all of my kids?
February- Okay, this is getting a lot easier. I have been utilizing the Pacing Guide which gives me 1000 topics to teach in four weeks. I’ve managed to teach 12 of the 1000 topics. Apparently, this was just right because my kids increased their scores by 12%. I’m speechless. So are my kids, so is the administration, so is everyone else in the building. We haven’t stopped getting compliments. This is getting a lot better. Especially since my friends and I started the “Let’s Not Become Old Hags in our Twenties” Club. In this club, we force each other to do “undergradish” activities for at least eight hours a week. It’s been working out great. We’re coming up on March and another Benchmark test, the MAP, and the SRI. Let’s see what happens.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
My Beliefs About Reading
In regards to reading, I agree with Shauna that after reading the Beers' text, it became obvious that I have a lot of learn. Here is a little sample of what I do know. It is my belief that proper modeling, vocabulary, comprehension, and fluency are all equally important in producing strong readers.
People- students and adult peers- will always do what you do. Hence, modeling can be extremely advantageous or disadvantageous. A think-aloud in which teachers model the reading process is always a great learning tool. However, I am a firm believer that it must be done repetitivly and utilize all the strategies you wants students to learn.
I view vocabulary to be important because it is at the root of all language acquisition. How can a student comprehend a statement or a text if they don't understand the words that make up the statement? However, vocabulary building exercises must be strategic. For instance, I use words that are the names of skills. For example, a few of my vocabulary words are Compare, Contrast, Inference, Plot, Main Idea, and Figurative Language. This way, students can readily define the concept and use Context Clues, Inferencing, and Prior Knowledge to identify the element when they see it in a passage. If students can recognize what strategy or element the author is employing, they can usually answer any comprehension or analytical questions that follow.
Obviously, comprehension is important, not just for the sake of comprehending, but because it is the foundation for higher order thinking skills. In my opinion, comprehension of a text is the most basic expectation for a reader. In other words, the least and contrastingly the most, we expect from readers is that they comprehend the plot of a story.
This is where fluency arrives. Fluency helps make comprehension an easier task. It can make reading more interesting for struggling readers and provides students with the opportunity to use their imagination while reading. Fluency seems to be the driving force that can make reading, comprehension, and vocabulary more cohesive and fluid. Ultimately, one can't and shouldn't exist without the other.
People- students and adult peers- will always do what you do. Hence, modeling can be extremely advantageous or disadvantageous. A think-aloud in which teachers model the reading process is always a great learning tool. However, I am a firm believer that it must be done repetitivly and utilize all the strategies you wants students to learn.
I view vocabulary to be important because it is at the root of all language acquisition. How can a student comprehend a statement or a text if they don't understand the words that make up the statement? However, vocabulary building exercises must be strategic. For instance, I use words that are the names of skills. For example, a few of my vocabulary words are Compare, Contrast, Inference, Plot, Main Idea, and Figurative Language. This way, students can readily define the concept and use Context Clues, Inferencing, and Prior Knowledge to identify the element when they see it in a passage. If students can recognize what strategy or element the author is employing, they can usually answer any comprehension or analytical questions that follow.
Obviously, comprehension is important, not just for the sake of comprehending, but because it is the foundation for higher order thinking skills. In my opinion, comprehension of a text is the most basic expectation for a reader. In other words, the least and contrastingly the most, we expect from readers is that they comprehend the plot of a story.
This is where fluency arrives. Fluency helps make comprehension an easier task. It can make reading more interesting for struggling readers and provides students with the opportunity to use their imagination while reading. Fluency seems to be the driving force that can make reading, comprehension, and vocabulary more cohesive and fluid. Ultimately, one can't and shouldn't exist without the other.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Putting It All Together
I'm not sure of where to start. It's been almost a month since my last entry. In that time I've had a student get an abortion, the same student confess to me that her brother got her pregnant, a student have a nervous breakdown because other students ridicule her, and a student who has revealed that his parents don't like Black people and that he's really trying hard not to be the same. Amidst all of this, I decided to return to the St. Louis Public Schools' Family next year. The following is a public exploration of some of the reasons I have decided to stay at Long Middle C.E.C. Academy and an employee of St. Louis Public Schools. I figure if I can list more reasons to stay than to leave, then perhaps my decision making skills are somewhat sound.
To Stay...
1. would mean that I'm not giving up. This means that I have seen a guiding light in my kids and in my colleagues that is worth a fight. It means that I don't believe my school or my kids are statistics waiting in line to fail. Our kids have the ability to succeed and I would put my life on it. The problem, one of them anyway, seems to be a misunderstanding of the cognitive process. All students don't take in information the same way or in the same amount of time. It's amazing how the seemingly obvious can be vastly misunderstood and distorted beyond belief. As educators, some of us have turned this phrase into statements or sentiments like, "I've taught this concept for four weeks and utilized 6 cutting edge strategies and 75% of my students understand it, so the other 25% are incapable." We have equated time to quality instruction. We have learned to lean on our brightest children to boost our numbers instead of noting that authentic instructors find ways to reach ALL students. I am not exempt from error, but I am an authentic instructor in the making, therefore, I can't give up.
2. would mean that I'm supporting the Long Middle C.E.C. Academy Administration. The administration consist of Black females. Pardon reason #2 if you are unable to identify with my claims. I work in a building in which I am one of two Black female teachers. The other Black female teacher is twice my age, teaches in a self-contained classroom, and has a less than stellar reputation. In other words, we are- in some ways-world apart. The administration on the other hand, consist of all 30 something Black women, with the exception of the principal who has the spirit and energy of a 19 year-old. Not only have I bonded with these women, but they have welcomed me in with more than enough support. If there was ever a mix for instant family, they would be the main ingredients. We are like mothers, daughters, and sisters. As the youngest I tend to get hazed and spoiled simultaneously. Even though it gets difficult when your only real support system is the administration, they have modeled perfectly the time, place, and degree to which professionalism is required. In this case, to think of leaving would be to think of losing my "mothers" and "sisters". It is simply unacceptable at this juncture in my life.
3. would mean that I have another chance to prove to myself that my kids can meet AYP on state and district wide exams. As much as I "hate" to admit it, my kids' scores really dampered my mood around 3rd quarter. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I felt like my students could not achieve, but I KNOW they can. I'm not saying they will all score in the "Advanced" category, but I am confident that because I now have a better understanding of what I'm doing and my purpose in an SLPS classroom, my students will have an edge that they didn't have before. On the other hand, in the event that my scores don't improve over the next year and a half, that's a probably a good way to tell that I belong in Higher Education as previously planned! LOL What's more, is that I will not have given up!
To leave...
1. would mean I would have to give up everything I just mentioned: the good, the bad, the ugly, the super-ugly, the experiences that can't be described by the best author or the most dramatic storyteller, the emotions you can only feel when connected with moody, "she doesn't want to be my friend anymore" and "he's looking at the girl I like", sixth graders. Who would turn all this down?
To Stay...
1. would mean that I'm not giving up. This means that I have seen a guiding light in my kids and in my colleagues that is worth a fight. It means that I don't believe my school or my kids are statistics waiting in line to fail. Our kids have the ability to succeed and I would put my life on it. The problem, one of them anyway, seems to be a misunderstanding of the cognitive process. All students don't take in information the same way or in the same amount of time. It's amazing how the seemingly obvious can be vastly misunderstood and distorted beyond belief. As educators, some of us have turned this phrase into statements or sentiments like, "I've taught this concept for four weeks and utilized 6 cutting edge strategies and 75% of my students understand it, so the other 25% are incapable." We have equated time to quality instruction. We have learned to lean on our brightest children to boost our numbers instead of noting that authentic instructors find ways to reach ALL students. I am not exempt from error, but I am an authentic instructor in the making, therefore, I can't give up.
2. would mean that I'm supporting the Long Middle C.E.C. Academy Administration. The administration consist of Black females. Pardon reason #2 if you are unable to identify with my claims. I work in a building in which I am one of two Black female teachers. The other Black female teacher is twice my age, teaches in a self-contained classroom, and has a less than stellar reputation. In other words, we are- in some ways-world apart. The administration on the other hand, consist of all 30 something Black women, with the exception of the principal who has the spirit and energy of a 19 year-old. Not only have I bonded with these women, but they have welcomed me in with more than enough support. If there was ever a mix for instant family, they would be the main ingredients. We are like mothers, daughters, and sisters. As the youngest I tend to get hazed and spoiled simultaneously. Even though it gets difficult when your only real support system is the administration, they have modeled perfectly the time, place, and degree to which professionalism is required. In this case, to think of leaving would be to think of losing my "mothers" and "sisters". It is simply unacceptable at this juncture in my life.
3. would mean that I have another chance to prove to myself that my kids can meet AYP on state and district wide exams. As much as I "hate" to admit it, my kids' scores really dampered my mood around 3rd quarter. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I felt like my students could not achieve, but I KNOW they can. I'm not saying they will all score in the "Advanced" category, but I am confident that because I now have a better understanding of what I'm doing and my purpose in an SLPS classroom, my students will have an edge that they didn't have before. On the other hand, in the event that my scores don't improve over the next year and a half, that's a probably a good way to tell that I belong in Higher Education as previously planned! LOL What's more, is that I will not have given up!
To leave...
1. would mean I would have to give up everything I just mentioned: the good, the bad, the ugly, the super-ugly, the experiences that can't be described by the best author or the most dramatic storyteller, the emotions you can only feel when connected with moody, "she doesn't want to be my friend anymore" and "he's looking at the girl I like", sixth graders. Who would turn all this down?
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Bitter-Sweet
I have never ever experienced so many emotions about school in a such a short period of time. I'm writing this because the emotions have gotten to be too much for me. I don't know if this is good or bad. My emotions are mixed, but right now-more than anything- I wish I was incapable of feeling it all at once.
It all started last week the day after New Years. I had a great holiday break. A break that was filled with undergrad-ish activities. Activities that I had not participated in since the weekend of graduation, May 11th. I caught a glimpse of what my life was like before teaching. Constant gut-busting laughter, shopping without money, eating out all the time (again with no real money in sight), going on several dates a day (probably because I don't have any money), begging my sisters for money, sitting around with my family, and going to church without thinking about all the work I have to do. On Tuesday night, right before it was time to go back to school, I realized that I no longer had any of those things and as soon as I walked into work the next morning, the fun would surely be gone. To keep from losing the feeling so quickly, I took a personal day. While the personal day helped quite a bit at the moment, it was still only temporary.
The rest of the week was fine because there were only two days left. Also, the principal gave me a special project which was good and not-so-good. It was more work, but at least it meant that she had at least some confidence in my ability.
Then Monday comes. I get my Benchmark Acuity scores and they are horrible. The silver lining in the situation is that I'm behind on teaching whats in the SLPS Pacing Guide, so I expected my students to not perform well. I still had that nagging, miniscule, but big enough to feel, guilt feeling. My administrators and team leaders didn't frown upon me the way I anticipated, but they definitely made it clear that the scores needed to improve. This was a little dissapointing because Benchmark Scores were minimalized by some. However, I have all the confidence that now that I know the real importance of Benchmark Tests and the most important GLE's to teach, that my students' scores will improve.
To add to it all, my school is a "High Priority School" which means a lot of things for a lot of people. For teachers, it means A LOT MORE PAPERWORK. I suppose this is working for veteran teachers, but for new teachers, me in particular, it is an overwhelming amount of pressure. To be more clear, it's right in bewteen overwhelming and surreal. Since the holiday break, there hasn't been one day when I haven't thought about the possibilty that this could be a dream and I could wake up in a split second and not be in the middle of a deadline to turn in something.
I'm not really sure how this blog entry will be perceived- pessimistic, optimistic, bitter, sweet, bitter-sweet. What I do know is that right now I'm so tired of feeling drastic emotions, that I've decided not to feel anything, at least for tonight.
I've racked my brain trying to come up with answers. The only notion that makes sense is that G-d is putting me through this, as every other challenge, to be stronger, a better person, and a better Christian. What's puzzling, is that usually these challenges are usually the kind that I don't want to endeavor. My job is undoubtedly one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced, but no matter what happens, I keep wanting to go back. Go figure.
It all started last week the day after New Years. I had a great holiday break. A break that was filled with undergrad-ish activities. Activities that I had not participated in since the weekend of graduation, May 11th. I caught a glimpse of what my life was like before teaching. Constant gut-busting laughter, shopping without money, eating out all the time (again with no real money in sight), going on several dates a day (probably because I don't have any money), begging my sisters for money, sitting around with my family, and going to church without thinking about all the work I have to do. On Tuesday night, right before it was time to go back to school, I realized that I no longer had any of those things and as soon as I walked into work the next morning, the fun would surely be gone. To keep from losing the feeling so quickly, I took a personal day. While the personal day helped quite a bit at the moment, it was still only temporary.
The rest of the week was fine because there were only two days left. Also, the principal gave me a special project which was good and not-so-good. It was more work, but at least it meant that she had at least some confidence in my ability.
Then Monday comes. I get my Benchmark Acuity scores and they are horrible. The silver lining in the situation is that I'm behind on teaching whats in the SLPS Pacing Guide, so I expected my students to not perform well. I still had that nagging, miniscule, but big enough to feel, guilt feeling. My administrators and team leaders didn't frown upon me the way I anticipated, but they definitely made it clear that the scores needed to improve. This was a little dissapointing because Benchmark Scores were minimalized by some. However, I have all the confidence that now that I know the real importance of Benchmark Tests and the most important GLE's to teach, that my students' scores will improve.
To add to it all, my school is a "High Priority School" which means a lot of things for a lot of people. For teachers, it means A LOT MORE PAPERWORK. I suppose this is working for veteran teachers, but for new teachers, me in particular, it is an overwhelming amount of pressure. To be more clear, it's right in bewteen overwhelming and surreal. Since the holiday break, there hasn't been one day when I haven't thought about the possibilty that this could be a dream and I could wake up in a split second and not be in the middle of a deadline to turn in something.
I'm not really sure how this blog entry will be perceived- pessimistic, optimistic, bitter, sweet, bitter-sweet. What I do know is that right now I'm so tired of feeling drastic emotions, that I've decided not to feel anything, at least for tonight.
I've racked my brain trying to come up with answers. The only notion that makes sense is that G-d is putting me through this, as every other challenge, to be stronger, a better person, and a better Christian. What's puzzling, is that usually these challenges are usually the kind that I don't want to endeavor. My job is undoubtedly one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced, but no matter what happens, I keep wanting to go back. Go figure.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Just News
I can't believe I've been teaching for a whole semester. I was soooo nervous when I first began this venture some four months ago. I wasn't sure if teaching was indeed the profession for me. After making irreplacable bonds with students and a very few select colleagues, witnessing students make small, but significant academic gains, resolving conflicts with students who have behavior issues, personally mentoring some female students, and having not-so-good days, but still just as eager to return the next day, I am absolutely, positively sure that I have chosen the right profession.
During the first semester we studied Poetry, Dictionary Skills, Literature Circles, Letter Writing, and Main Idea. Towards the end of the quarter, students completed a poster project in which they had to choose one of the units we studied, create a poster with all the elements they learned, and teach it to me as if I'm the student. I even called the students by their last names and allowed them to call me Ashley. They had to get comfortable with teaching and me impersonating them. I was quite pleased with the results. Students were very comfortable after a while. We're still finishing up the posters, but we will be done by Friday.
After that, we're going to implement an intense 6 part Vocabulary Strategy into our regular curriculumn. I am overwhelmingly excited.
During the first semester we studied Poetry, Dictionary Skills, Literature Circles, Letter Writing, and Main Idea. Towards the end of the quarter, students completed a poster project in which they had to choose one of the units we studied, create a poster with all the elements they learned, and teach it to me as if I'm the student. I even called the students by their last names and allowed them to call me Ashley. They had to get comfortable with teaching and me impersonating them. I was quite pleased with the results. Students were very comfortable after a while. We're still finishing up the posters, but we will be done by Friday.
After that, we're going to implement an intense 6 part Vocabulary Strategy into our regular curriculumn. I am overwhelmingly excited.
Monday, December 3, 2007
The following is a poem I wrote after reflection about my school. I don't think it is offensive, but let me know what you think...
Who Matters
I don’t understand it
Maybe it’s because I’m new
You keep complaining as
If this is really about you
Are you conceited or consumed
With the ideal MSIP room?
You're looking for check marks
Meanwhile your kids are checking out
When are you going to figure it out?
Am I being naïve?
Or too new, too fresh?
I’m never too proud to pay respects
And I humble myself to the death
But I look at the man in the mirror
Knowing that I can’t be in fear of
Observations and walk throughs
'Cause I walked through my kid’s lives
To find out the media ain’t lying
So I made my own MAP test
Starting now, starting here
Headed north
Towards Persevere Avenue
To make a right on Brand New Attitude
Keep straight on Never Lose
Might seem like a maze,
But I promise we’ll never lose
Sooner or later the
Yellow Brick Road turns to solid gold.
I don’t understand it
Maybe it’s because I’m new
You keep complaining as
If this is really about you
Are you conceited or consumed
With the ideal MSIP room?
You're looking for check marks
Meanwhile your kids are checking out
When are you going to figure it out?
Am I being naïve?
Or too new, too fresh?
I’m never too proud to pay respects
And I humble myself to the death
But I look at the man in the mirror
Knowing that I can’t be in fear of
Observations and walk throughs
'Cause I walked through my kid’s lives
To find out the media ain’t lying
So I made my own MAP test
Starting now, starting here
Headed north
Towards Persevere Avenue
To make a right on Brand New Attitude
Keep straight on Never Lose
Might seem like a maze,
But I promise we’ll never lose
Sooner or later the
Yellow Brick Road turns to solid gold.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Short Days and Long Nights
I don't have anything in particular to blog about at this time, so I will share a few snippets of scenarios that my days short and the evenings away from my kids long.
Finally, I have two computers working in my room. I love it and so do my kids. So far, we've typed Business Letters and played on FunBrain.com. Having the working computers helps my classroom management because it gives those students who finish early something constructive to partake in. Best of all, the family atmosphere is strong and my kids are disciplined enough to work two at a time on the computer. In my highest tiered group, a few students are able to work three at a time. Things are really coming together.
Also, I just had a screen for my projector installed. It has really enhanced my instruction. Now, there is so much more marker to paper action with the entire class involved. However, I did realize with the installation of the screen, that I made it work before the screen. I never jeopardized my kids' education because of lack of resources. Like any sincere educator, I always did whatever I needed to for my kids to understand. The same applies to the computers. Now that I have them, they're a great asset to my classroom management, but I never had any major issues with management anyway. Complaints were more like fantasies in my mind: even though they were incredibly wonderful, I knew the reality of them was far in the distance and that I needed to take care of the present to move further.
It was Turkey day Long on Tuesday. The Gentlemen's Club prepared dinner for the staff. The guys were super excited. Even though all of them are 8th graders, most of them know me through their mentor, Mr. Bryant. (I digress) The guys come to my room during the middle of 7th grade lunch and inquire in an innocent face, which completely contrasts their normal behavior (I still love them), and say, "Ms. Crawford how come you ain't came to eat yet?" I told them my normal potluck response, "I'll be there in a minute." Normally, I wouldn't have eaten at all, but I couldn't turn the GC's down. Then one of them said, "We'll watch your class for you." I said, "No thank you Tony," with a chuckle and then "Can't you see I'm reading with my babies." It warmed my heart like never before when these guys who pretended to be anything, but innocent sat down amongst my kids and chimed in on our reading and discussion, in the middle of their big day. After about 7 minutes they said, "Ms. Crawford we gotta go now, Mr. Bryant probably looking for us." Then one of my students shouted, "Yeah go so you can leave her babies alone." All of sudden, Tony turns around and responsds, "I'm her baby too, I just don't need as much attention as yall." His peer Marcus says, "Yep, yep." This is what makes time away from school long. I love them like they are my own.
Finally, I have two computers working in my room. I love it and so do my kids. So far, we've typed Business Letters and played on FunBrain.com. Having the working computers helps my classroom management because it gives those students who finish early something constructive to partake in. Best of all, the family atmosphere is strong and my kids are disciplined enough to work two at a time on the computer. In my highest tiered group, a few students are able to work three at a time. Things are really coming together.
Also, I just had a screen for my projector installed. It has really enhanced my instruction. Now, there is so much more marker to paper action with the entire class involved. However, I did realize with the installation of the screen, that I made it work before the screen. I never jeopardized my kids' education because of lack of resources. Like any sincere educator, I always did whatever I needed to for my kids to understand. The same applies to the computers. Now that I have them, they're a great asset to my classroom management, but I never had any major issues with management anyway. Complaints were more like fantasies in my mind: even though they were incredibly wonderful, I knew the reality of them was far in the distance and that I needed to take care of the present to move further.
It was Turkey day Long on Tuesday. The Gentlemen's Club prepared dinner for the staff. The guys were super excited. Even though all of them are 8th graders, most of them know me through their mentor, Mr. Bryant. (I digress) The guys come to my room during the middle of 7th grade lunch and inquire in an innocent face, which completely contrasts their normal behavior (I still love them), and say, "Ms. Crawford how come you ain't came to eat yet?" I told them my normal potluck response, "I'll be there in a minute." Normally, I wouldn't have eaten at all, but I couldn't turn the GC's down. Then one of them said, "We'll watch your class for you." I said, "No thank you Tony," with a chuckle and then "Can't you see I'm reading with my babies." It warmed my heart like never before when these guys who pretended to be anything, but innocent sat down amongst my kids and chimed in on our reading and discussion, in the middle of their big day. After about 7 minutes they said, "Ms. Crawford we gotta go now, Mr. Bryant probably looking for us." Then one of my students shouted, "Yeah go so you can leave her babies alone." All of sudden, Tony turns around and responsds, "I'm her baby too, I just don't need as much attention as yall." His peer Marcus says, "Yep, yep." This is what makes time away from school long. I love them like they are my own.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Sound Bites
Last Wednesday my students and I were going over our letter writing exam. Some kind of way I stumbled upon two vocabulary strategies. They both rely heavily on rthym. The first one simply involves students spelling the word as they clap to each letter. When we do this strategy, we usually only do 8-10 words. I think it works so well because we don't many words and so it's easier for students to remember, at least an estimate, of how many times they clapped to each word. It's like memorizing anything else. For instance, if you read song lyrics, you are less likely to remember them and than if you hear song lyrics on top of a rythm. We match the rythm and the way the music sounds with the word pattern. Think about it. You hear a song on the radio for the first time and you learn the words. In fact, even if you don't care for the words or the song, the lyrics or at least some parts of them, become a part of your memory because the beat makes it catchy and so memorable. Then the next time you hear the song, you find yourself singing the words you remember without knowing you remembered them, and making up the most appropriate words for the parts you don't remember. This is what happens when we clap to the spelling of words. Students remember how it sounded to clap off the word and approximately how long it took. This helps them remember most words or most parts of the words and it easier to fill in the blanks of the letters you can't remember. Hence, The Alphabet Song.
The second stategy is simply a parody of an old call and response saying most popular in the hip-hop genre. It goes like, "When I say _____, you say _______. " If we're spelling the word signature, I will divide the room into two groups and group 1 will say: "When we say 'S', you say 'I'. Then group 1 says, "S" and group 2 replies "I". Then group 2 says, "When we say 'G', you say 'N'. Group 2 says, "G" and group 1 replies "N" and so on and so forth. This one works extremely well too. I think it has to do with the call and response nature of the activity.
What may be just as important as the fact that my kids are getting vocabulary quicker and easier, is what these two strategies have in common-rthymn based intsruction. As educators we must reflect on what we can take from this? The obvious- rythm impacts memorization and learning. What we really need to figure out is the unobvious? What is it specifally about music and rythmic sounds that causes humans to retain information better when presented in a rythmic form?
Until I figure it out, I will just go with what I know. So don't be surprised if you enter my classroom and we're singing away!
I almost forgot to mention...evidently I'm not the only person who thought it was a good strategy. My principal walked in to observe me and after school asked me if she could send another teacher in my room to observe direct instruction with vocabulary. What else can I say, but :))
The second stategy is simply a parody of an old call and response saying most popular in the hip-hop genre. It goes like, "When I say _____, you say _______. " If we're spelling the word signature, I will divide the room into two groups and group 1 will say: "When we say 'S', you say 'I'. Then group 1 says, "S" and group 2 replies "I". Then group 2 says, "When we say 'G', you say 'N'. Group 2 says, "G" and group 1 replies "N" and so on and so forth. This one works extremely well too. I think it has to do with the call and response nature of the activity.
What may be just as important as the fact that my kids are getting vocabulary quicker and easier, is what these two strategies have in common-rthymn based intsruction. As educators we must reflect on what we can take from this? The obvious- rythm impacts memorization and learning. What we really need to figure out is the unobvious? What is it specifally about music and rythmic sounds that causes humans to retain information better when presented in a rythmic form?
Until I figure it out, I will just go with what I know. So don't be surprised if you enter my classroom and we're singing away!
I almost forgot to mention...evidently I'm not the only person who thought it was a good strategy. My principal walked in to observe me and after school asked me if she could send another teacher in my room to observe direct instruction with vocabulary. What else can I say, but :))
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Why, Why, Why???
At MU I took two methods courses with Dr. Gilles. They were essentially the same course, but one focused on writing and the other course focused on reading. She once asked us, which course we preferred and later made the statement that most people have a preference. I never really understood how anyone could prefer reading to writing. As a good student and follower does, I have taken Dr. Gilles' advice and made sure I covered both adequately and alternately.
My students have opened the year with reading poetry, then we wrote poetry, then we read fiction, now we're writing fiction. Each time we write my students are completely enthralled in the experience (at least the majority of them). When we have to read, it's a completely different story.
For instance, we completed Literature Circles last week and my students were ascetic. I had four books going and two of the groups were a little more than mildly excited to read their books. The other two were heavily annoyed by the constant repetition and the fact that they had been assigned the school books which are in horrible shape (clumps of pages are missing in most of them and the binding is coming apart). Could it be a coincidence that the groups who were reading the brand new books I bought with my own money seemed to be having a more pleasurable experience? Just food for thought...that's another blog entry on another day.
Back to the matter at hand. After Lit. Circles, we began studying how to write Friendly Letters. We had a shortened week so I figured we could knock this out now. It's as if I teach two different classes. This week when we wrote our letters, I was reacquainted with the same students I taught when we wrote poetry. Today, their final drafts of their three paragraphs were due. I had students wanting to skip P.E. to finish writing their letters and address their envelopes. Skip gym; that's unheard of! Puzzling to me.
Why, why, why? Why do they prefer writing to reading. Reading seems to me the easier option. There is much less work and effort required. They read a book, discuss it, answer questions and on good days they draw something about the book. When we write in my class, my students produce an average of two rough drafts and I mark up their precious drafts. Writing always takes more explanation, instruction, and modeling on my part so I know it must require more physical and mental effort from my students.
Did they enjoy writing their letters because there is more freedom of expression? That's really the only thing I can think of. Let me know if you can offer any plausible explanations that explain why my students prefer the long, sometimes daunting task of the writing process.
Meanwhile, I'm off to read a book.
My students have opened the year with reading poetry, then we wrote poetry, then we read fiction, now we're writing fiction. Each time we write my students are completely enthralled in the experience (at least the majority of them). When we have to read, it's a completely different story.
For instance, we completed Literature Circles last week and my students were ascetic. I had four books going and two of the groups were a little more than mildly excited to read their books. The other two were heavily annoyed by the constant repetition and the fact that they had been assigned the school books which are in horrible shape (clumps of pages are missing in most of them and the binding is coming apart). Could it be a coincidence that the groups who were reading the brand new books I bought with my own money seemed to be having a more pleasurable experience? Just food for thought...that's another blog entry on another day.
Back to the matter at hand. After Lit. Circles, we began studying how to write Friendly Letters. We had a shortened week so I figured we could knock this out now. It's as if I teach two different classes. This week when we wrote our letters, I was reacquainted with the same students I taught when we wrote poetry. Today, their final drafts of their three paragraphs were due. I had students wanting to skip P.E. to finish writing their letters and address their envelopes. Skip gym; that's unheard of! Puzzling to me.
Why, why, why? Why do they prefer writing to reading. Reading seems to me the easier option. There is much less work and effort required. They read a book, discuss it, answer questions and on good days they draw something about the book. When we write in my class, my students produce an average of two rough drafts and I mark up their precious drafts. Writing always takes more explanation, instruction, and modeling on my part so I know it must require more physical and mental effort from my students.
Did they enjoy writing their letters because there is more freedom of expression? That's really the only thing I can think of. Let me know if you can offer any plausible explanations that explain why my students prefer the long, sometimes daunting task of the writing process.
Meanwhile, I'm off to read a book.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Tear Fest II
Today I cried. It wasn't a long, drawn out overly emotional and sappy cry. It lasted for almost a minute. It was a different kind of cry. It was sudden and slow and only three tears fell from my face. I'm not even sure of what was wrong or if anything was wrong. I'm just tired and extremely overwhelmed. My body just feels like it can't go on any longer. So I did it. I went to the bathroom, stared out of the window, and without warning, the tears came. Like I said, they were brief, but necessary.
The triumphant part about the situation is that during my daily mental reflection in rush hour traffic, I owned everything I felt. I thought to myself, "I'm taking on too much additional responsibilty." In actuallity, it's not really that much that I've taken on, it's just that my work load situtaion is so extreme this year, that extra tasks seem amplified. Anywho, I always ask myself on not so great days, was it soooo bad that I wouldn't return the next day if I had a choice? The answer was no. Even though I am incredibly exhausted, I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing my kids again. (Maybe I'm exaggering...I could bare the thought, but I REALLY wouldn't like to!)
I've wanted to quit some endeavors in life and some of them I have; just quit right in the middle of the whole thing. So if it's not bad enough to quit, it can't really be that bad at all.
So I'm beginning to pick up the pieces mentally and emotionally and prepare for a new day. I'll look into my kids eyes tomorrow and give lots of hugs and I know everything will be alright :))
PEACE
The triumphant part about the situation is that during my daily mental reflection in rush hour traffic, I owned everything I felt. I thought to myself, "I'm taking on too much additional responsibilty." In actuallity, it's not really that much that I've taken on, it's just that my work load situtaion is so extreme this year, that extra tasks seem amplified. Anywho, I always ask myself on not so great days, was it soooo bad that I wouldn't return the next day if I had a choice? The answer was no. Even though I am incredibly exhausted, I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing my kids again. (Maybe I'm exaggering...I could bare the thought, but I REALLY wouldn't like to!)
I've wanted to quit some endeavors in life and some of them I have; just quit right in the middle of the whole thing. So if it's not bad enough to quit, it can't really be that bad at all.
So I'm beginning to pick up the pieces mentally and emotionally and prepare for a new day. I'll look into my kids eyes tomorrow and give lots of hugs and I know everything will be alright :))
PEACE
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Could It Be that I'm Falling In Love
So, I was doing some thinking about behavior and the general demeanor of each one of my class periods. If you're middle school and up, you know what I mean when I say that each class period has its own personality. So, if my had to describe the personality of each class starting with the last one first, it would go something like this:
8th Period- Fairly non-chalant, a group who believes they're more mature than they are; they have a special place in my heart bc we do a lot of things together that I don't do with my other classes bc they are the last period. As a result, they know my personality so well that within the first minute of class they can tell what kind of day I'm having and they adjust their behavior to my mood.
7th Period- This is the group that wants to learn; they have real potential all around, but they have to be pushed; they have a special place in my heart bc they are always ready to try!
6th Period- These people are hillarious. They often need help, but they have a special place in my heart because they always, always manage to put a smile on my face with their jokes, dances, and their twist on the way they perceive my instruction.
5th Period- My fifth period never ever stops! Stop what you ask? WHATEVER THEY ARE DOING, THEY JUST NEVER EVER EVER STOP. I've lost about 12 pounds since August and I'm pretty sure I have 5th hour to thank. They have a special place in my heart because they are almost single-handedly responsible for my growths as a teacher. 5th period keeps me going and forces me to explore the definition of authentic teaching and I am absolutely positively in love with them for it. I would never give up anyone in my 5th period.
3rd Hour- This is probably my most mature group. They know me very well because most of them are in my advisory and Reading Enrichment class. They rarely ever cause any problems and they love to learn. I usually talk to my 3rd period as if they are my colleagues rather than my students. Calm down. What I mean is that we have a lot of dialogue about emotional based feelings rather than conversation always stemming from academics. They are special because 3rd period warms me up for the rest of the day. They know what I like and they never stray from that.
As you can see, all of my classes are drastically different. The one thing that remains true for all of them is that I love them all dearly. Even though 5th hour NEVER STOPS, 6th period is full of comedians and my entire 8th hour is filled with adults in middle school bodies, the more I get to know them the harder it is to complete weekends without having to tell someone to begin their "Warm Up" or to "Please stop dancing", or "No, you can't borrow my shoes or braid my hair" and that, "I don't know if the double-cheeseburger at Jack-in-the-Box has a tomato on it."
Could it be that I'm falling in love?
8th Period- Fairly non-chalant, a group who believes they're more mature than they are; they have a special place in my heart bc we do a lot of things together that I don't do with my other classes bc they are the last period. As a result, they know my personality so well that within the first minute of class they can tell what kind of day I'm having and they adjust their behavior to my mood.
7th Period- This is the group that wants to learn; they have real potential all around, but they have to be pushed; they have a special place in my heart bc they are always ready to try!
6th Period- These people are hillarious. They often need help, but they have a special place in my heart because they always, always manage to put a smile on my face with their jokes, dances, and their twist on the way they perceive my instruction.
5th Period- My fifth period never ever stops! Stop what you ask? WHATEVER THEY ARE DOING, THEY JUST NEVER EVER EVER STOP. I've lost about 12 pounds since August and I'm pretty sure I have 5th hour to thank. They have a special place in my heart because they are almost single-handedly responsible for my growths as a teacher. 5th period keeps me going and forces me to explore the definition of authentic teaching and I am absolutely positively in love with them for it. I would never give up anyone in my 5th period.
3rd Hour- This is probably my most mature group. They know me very well because most of them are in my advisory and Reading Enrichment class. They rarely ever cause any problems and they love to learn. I usually talk to my 3rd period as if they are my colleagues rather than my students. Calm down. What I mean is that we have a lot of dialogue about emotional based feelings rather than conversation always stemming from academics. They are special because 3rd period warms me up for the rest of the day. They know what I like and they never stray from that.
As you can see, all of my classes are drastically different. The one thing that remains true for all of them is that I love them all dearly. Even though 5th hour NEVER STOPS, 6th period is full of comedians and my entire 8th hour is filled with adults in middle school bodies, the more I get to know them the harder it is to complete weekends without having to tell someone to begin their "Warm Up" or to "Please stop dancing", or "No, you can't borrow my shoes or braid my hair" and that, "I don't know if the double-cheeseburger at Jack-in-the-Box has a tomato on it."
Could it be that I'm falling in love?
Saturday, September 22, 2007
On Venting
The following is an excerpt from a comment I posted on a fellow Fellow's blog. While writing it, I came to some pretty good conclusions (so I think) and decided to post some on my own blog. What do you think?
By the way, I've been meaning to tell you...I don't want you to think my first year teaching experience is simply perfect. I don't talk about the negatives for a few reasons. 1) I don't consider the issues that I may have or the issues that Long has, my problems. Here comes sappy spirituality. My religion gives me the permission to allow G-d to carry the weight of my problems. Therefore, my worrying is very minimal. Which makes it appear as though I'm happy all the time! 2) It used to help me to talk about all my issues, but for some reason that has changed. I don't mind listening to other people, but when I talk about my own issues it just seems to amplify the situation and makes me think about it more. Weird, I know, but that's how my mind works (This probably directly tied to why I can't remember what's due, when). Lastly, I'm so scared that people are going to over hear me venting that I rarely get the urge. On those days when I absolutely have to, I find you or I lock my door and call one of my girlfriends and begin the conversation with, "You will not believe ..." Other than that, there are very few people that I trust in that school or in any school for that matter. Moment of truth: some teachers/some people are just unbearably gossipy and the fact of the matter is that you never know who you're talking to until you hear about your comment the next day.
By the way, I've been meaning to tell you...I don't want you to think my first year teaching experience is simply perfect. I don't talk about the negatives for a few reasons. 1) I don't consider the issues that I may have or the issues that Long has, my problems. Here comes sappy spirituality. My religion gives me the permission to allow G-d to carry the weight of my problems. Therefore, my worrying is very minimal. Which makes it appear as though I'm happy all the time! 2) It used to help me to talk about all my issues, but for some reason that has changed. I don't mind listening to other people, but when I talk about my own issues it just seems to amplify the situation and makes me think about it more. Weird, I know, but that's how my mind works (This probably directly tied to why I can't remember what's due, when). Lastly, I'm so scared that people are going to over hear me venting that I rarely get the urge. On those days when I absolutely have to, I find you or I lock my door and call one of my girlfriends and begin the conversation with, "You will not believe ..." Other than that, there are very few people that I trust in that school or in any school for that matter. Moment of truth: some teachers/some people are just unbearably gossipy and the fact of the matter is that you never know who you're talking to until you hear about your comment the next day.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Living In the Moment
We just finished the fourth week of school and wow, I finally did it.
I think most teachers would agree that we have really good days and so-so days on a regular basis. In my case, the days seemed to alternate. Monday would be an excellent day, Tuesday would be a so-so day, Wednesday an excellent day etc. Usually, teachers, or least I did, can tell early in the morning what kind of day it will be. This pattern pretty much ruled my life for the first three weeks.
Every week, I would think to myself that there has to be a way to have a good day everyday. I know, my goal seems a little ambitious. However, I have always believed that I can have my cake and eat it too. Therefore, every few days, I would try something new.
For a couple of days, I spoke in a really low voice for my students. This way, they would have to be quiet to be able to hear me. It was calming for myself and them. It worked, but since I'm a natural loud mouth I got tired of speaking so softly. Then I tried my regular loud voice during the beginning of the class and got softer has time progressed. This was an ok strategy, except all my kids thought that they had made me sad because I started class with so much energy and significantly decreased it by the end. Then I tried giving all of my classes the silly side of me which I usually only give to my first and third period. Since I see them for a longer period of time, they're more in tune with my moods and understand that there is a time and a place for all behaviors. Apparently, my other classes are no where near first and third hour in terms of perception. They took my more non-chalant and fun side and ran with it. I couldn't get them to stop laughing. They made me believe that there was a little invisible man hanging from my ear lobe telling jokes, except I couldn't hear him. Then I tried upfront, mildly loud, in your face instruction. This undoubtedly proved to be the most effective kind of instruction in most regards. The kids were tuned in, excited, and learning was up! It was such a positive for the students, so I kept doing it, BUT it was sooooooooo exhausting. I'm up, running from kid to kid, being fairly loud, keeping up my energy, applauding students every time they catch on...it was very draining. It was at this moment that I realized what the one characteristic was that I didn't have that would enable me to have a good day everyday.
Living In the Moment. That's the key to it all. This last week, September 10th through the 14th, I lived in the moment. How is this different from what I've been doing? It has less to do with my physical behavior and more to do with my immediate perception and emotional investment in the situtaion. That is, my reaction to events is not always physically different, but emotionally it feels different and much more pleasant. For instance, a student named Jeff is speaking aloud in a quiet environment. My ears open. I turn to look at Jeff with my teacher's eye like I normally would. My physical behavior is the same. I always turn and look at students with my teacher's eye when they are mildy disruptive. However, I have perceived the situation differently. Normally, I would think to myself as I was staring, "Why are you talking? We are quiet every single day during the warm-up? Why don't you get it?" When I'm living in the moment, I think to myself while I'm staring, "Jeff obviously needs my attention. He is sooo silly. Nothing is wrong with him, he just loves to talk, just like me!" You see, when I'm living in the moment, I notice that there is an issue, I react appropriately by giving the student minimal attention, and I note the humanity in the situation, recalling the moments that I am Jeff.
Living In the Moment allows me to enjoy my life, my job, and my kids simultaneously. It decreases melancholy and increases authentic happiness which allows me to approach each day, each student with a brand new sincerity. Living In the Moment allowed me to have my cake and eat it too! It made a everyday an excellent day which makes both myself and my kids more successful!
YoU gOtTa LoVe It
I think most teachers would agree that we have really good days and so-so days on a regular basis. In my case, the days seemed to alternate. Monday would be an excellent day, Tuesday would be a so-so day, Wednesday an excellent day etc. Usually, teachers, or least I did, can tell early in the morning what kind of day it will be. This pattern pretty much ruled my life for the first three weeks.
Every week, I would think to myself that there has to be a way to have a good day everyday. I know, my goal seems a little ambitious. However, I have always believed that I can have my cake and eat it too. Therefore, every few days, I would try something new.
For a couple of days, I spoke in a really low voice for my students. This way, they would have to be quiet to be able to hear me. It was calming for myself and them. It worked, but since I'm a natural loud mouth I got tired of speaking so softly. Then I tried my regular loud voice during the beginning of the class and got softer has time progressed. This was an ok strategy, except all my kids thought that they had made me sad because I started class with so much energy and significantly decreased it by the end. Then I tried giving all of my classes the silly side of me which I usually only give to my first and third period. Since I see them for a longer period of time, they're more in tune with my moods and understand that there is a time and a place for all behaviors. Apparently, my other classes are no where near first and third hour in terms of perception. They took my more non-chalant and fun side and ran with it. I couldn't get them to stop laughing. They made me believe that there was a little invisible man hanging from my ear lobe telling jokes, except I couldn't hear him. Then I tried upfront, mildly loud, in your face instruction. This undoubtedly proved to be the most effective kind of instruction in most regards. The kids were tuned in, excited, and learning was up! It was such a positive for the students, so I kept doing it, BUT it was sooooooooo exhausting. I'm up, running from kid to kid, being fairly loud, keeping up my energy, applauding students every time they catch on...it was very draining. It was at this moment that I realized what the one characteristic was that I didn't have that would enable me to have a good day everyday.
Living In the Moment. That's the key to it all. This last week, September 10th through the 14th, I lived in the moment. How is this different from what I've been doing? It has less to do with my physical behavior and more to do with my immediate perception and emotional investment in the situtaion. That is, my reaction to events is not always physically different, but emotionally it feels different and much more pleasant. For instance, a student named Jeff is speaking aloud in a quiet environment. My ears open. I turn to look at Jeff with my teacher's eye like I normally would. My physical behavior is the same. I always turn and look at students with my teacher's eye when they are mildy disruptive. However, I have perceived the situation differently. Normally, I would think to myself as I was staring, "Why are you talking? We are quiet every single day during the warm-up? Why don't you get it?" When I'm living in the moment, I think to myself while I'm staring, "Jeff obviously needs my attention. He is sooo silly. Nothing is wrong with him, he just loves to talk, just like me!" You see, when I'm living in the moment, I notice that there is an issue, I react appropriately by giving the student minimal attention, and I note the humanity in the situation, recalling the moments that I am Jeff.
Living In the Moment allows me to enjoy my life, my job, and my kids simultaneously. It decreases melancholy and increases authentic happiness which allows me to approach each day, each student with a brand new sincerity. Living In the Moment allowed me to have my cake and eat it too! It made a everyday an excellent day which makes both myself and my kids more successful!
YoU gOtTa LoVe It
Monday, September 10, 2007
Tear Fest
So I had two students start crying today. One started crying because he fell out of his desk. It was completely his own fault. He was tipping the desk over and down he went. I felt bad for him, but if anything good came of this, it's that all the students heard about it and I didn't have one person lift their desk off of the floor for the rest of the day.
The second incident involved homework. I rarely ever give homework. As a matter of fact, this is the third homework assignment I have given since school started on August 20th. You would think there wouldn't be any problems when it comes to assigning it and there weren't, for the most part. I have students write their homework down and show it to me as an exit slip. I wactched one particular student sit there and listen, not write, while I gave homework instructions. When it was time to show me the homework in their planner, this particular student claimed that he would have to find it first. I said, "Ok, find it." He comes back about 30 seconds later and says, "I know I wrote it down I just can't find it." I say, "Well, you better write it because you can't leave until I see it written." HE STARTS CRYING! Just because I wouldn't let him leave before writing down the assignment. It seems minor, but I just couldn't believe it. This is from the same student who calls one of the teachers every morning to help him open his locker. I just can't believe he started crying because he was too lazy to take the time to write down the homework when I gave him time. I just can't believe it!!!
The second incident involved homework. I rarely ever give homework. As a matter of fact, this is the third homework assignment I have given since school started on August 20th. You would think there wouldn't be any problems when it comes to assigning it and there weren't, for the most part. I have students write their homework down and show it to me as an exit slip. I wactched one particular student sit there and listen, not write, while I gave homework instructions. When it was time to show me the homework in their planner, this particular student claimed that he would have to find it first. I said, "Ok, find it." He comes back about 30 seconds later and says, "I know I wrote it down I just can't find it." I say, "Well, you better write it because you can't leave until I see it written." HE STARTS CRYING! Just because I wouldn't let him leave before writing down the assignment. It seems minor, but I just couldn't believe it. This is from the same student who calls one of the teachers every morning to help him open his locker. I just can't believe he started crying because he was too lazy to take the time to write down the homework when I gave him time. I just can't believe it!!!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Recounts of Week 1
Oh my gosh! Five days down, 170 more to go and I'm looking forward to every second of it.
My first week went suprisingly well. I think my strenght is definitely classroom management. Although it could be that my students are so scared they don't move. My weakness is knowing what from my list of a million things to do, I should try to cover in 50 minutes. (35 minutes due to all the half days we've had because of the heat advisories) There is just sooo much to do and half of my to do list comes straight from my pricipal. How do you not do what you're prinicpal says???
Besides all the time constraints, my first week went well. The students were well behaved. I was extremely impressed with the level of engagement. I've started the year with a poetry unit and they are super excited now because I gave them a preview of what we'll be working on- the I AM FROM poem.
On Friday we had poetry stations where I posted all kinds of examples of the I AM FROM poem. Some examples were live from the computer, some just sat plainly on desks, and two examples were in picture book form. It was a little chaotic, just a little, but we all enjoyed it.
Next week, they will be given the template for the poem. They will work on it all week and conference with me. On Friday, they will present their poems. Also, throughout the week, very staff members have volunteered to come to my class and read their version of the I AM FROM poem. I'm excited to see how will go, but I won't be surprised if it gets post-poned because teachers are flexible! :)) My kids will be excited whenever it happens and that is all that matters.
Hopefully my students keep this excitement and motivation for the next 170 days.
My first week went suprisingly well. I think my strenght is definitely classroom management. Although it could be that my students are so scared they don't move. My weakness is knowing what from my list of a million things to do, I should try to cover in 50 minutes. (35 minutes due to all the half days we've had because of the heat advisories) There is just sooo much to do and half of my to do list comes straight from my pricipal. How do you not do what you're prinicpal says???
Besides all the time constraints, my first week went well. The students were well behaved. I was extremely impressed with the level of engagement. I've started the year with a poetry unit and they are super excited now because I gave them a preview of what we'll be working on- the I AM FROM poem.
On Friday we had poetry stations where I posted all kinds of examples of the I AM FROM poem. Some examples were live from the computer, some just sat plainly on desks, and two examples were in picture book form. It was a little chaotic, just a little, but we all enjoyed it.
Next week, they will be given the template for the poem. They will work on it all week and conference with me. On Friday, they will present their poems. Also, throughout the week, very staff members have volunteered to come to my class and read their version of the I AM FROM poem. I'm excited to see how will go, but I won't be surprised if it gets post-poned because teachers are flexible! :)) My kids will be excited whenever it happens and that is all that matters.
Hopefully my students keep this excitement and motivation for the next 170 days.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
So Much of Everything
Wow. I have been meaning to post on so many differert occasions. First, I wanted to post when I bought my first set of school supplies. Second, I wanted to post about the first day I spent dedorating my class. It was the Monday before last. Then I wanted to post about my first day of New Teacher Orientation which was last Tuesday. Obviously, I wanted to post about my first day of orientation at my home school which was yesterday. Now, I just want to recap and post about everything thus far! Here goes an attempt at condensing the last two weeks.
On Monday, July 6th I stepped foot into my mildly spacious classroom, otherwise known as 105. It was definitly in need of cleaning, color, and life, but somehow it was still great. I brought my sister along for support and help. Immediately we began cutting out letters, putting up bullentin boards, and borders. I managed to get all the bulletin boards done in about three hours, except for my personal teacher board.
New Teacher Orientation was okay. Even though my self-diagnosed ADHD wouldn't rest, I was particularly pleased with the amount of enthusiam and positivity from the existing staff. There was a real "Can Do" attitude energy throughout the entire week and it definitly touched me. We did get a lot of good resources and learned about a new disciplinarian model which is really effective. I'll post the name of it when I remember it.
Then I came to my school on August 7th. This is where the fun kicked in. My team members are great, the staff is really supportive and giving, the principal and the assistant principal are fantastic! My mentor is FABULOUS; she's like walking pedagogy! Not to mention, my classroom is coming along beautifully. I'll put pictures up soon.
Those of you who know me, know that I don't get excited easily, so the fact that I'm not getting any sleep for thinking about all the things I want to do with my students, says a lot.
On Monday, July 6th I stepped foot into my mildly spacious classroom, otherwise known as 105. It was definitly in need of cleaning, color, and life, but somehow it was still great. I brought my sister along for support and help. Immediately we began cutting out letters, putting up bullentin boards, and borders. I managed to get all the bulletin boards done in about three hours, except for my personal teacher board.
New Teacher Orientation was okay. Even though my self-diagnosed ADHD wouldn't rest, I was particularly pleased with the amount of enthusiam and positivity from the existing staff. There was a real "Can Do" attitude energy throughout the entire week and it definitly touched me. We did get a lot of good resources and learned about a new disciplinarian model which is really effective. I'll post the name of it when I remember it.
Then I came to my school on August 7th. This is where the fun kicked in. My team members are great, the staff is really supportive and giving, the principal and the assistant principal are fantastic! My mentor is FABULOUS; she's like walking pedagogy! Not to mention, my classroom is coming along beautifully. I'll put pictures up soon.
Those of you who know me, know that I don't get excited easily, so the fact that I'm not getting any sleep for thinking about all the things I want to do with my students, says a lot.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Overwhelming Feeling: Be Gone
So, I'm listening the Fellows Class of 2007 give their presentations and I am extremely excited. I know I wasn't the only one feeling overwhelmed in the beginning. So far, the presentations have been really goood and the main characteristic of the presenters seems to be a strong work ethic and knowing their students exceptionally well. They made the research look really easy, even though I know it will require a lot of time and work. I can't wait to get in my classroom so I can find out what "issues" my students have with reading or writing. I'm really glad I have seen these presentations. They have calmed my spirits as well as set the bar extremely high.
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