So earlier this school year, around late October/early November I experimented with Literature Circles. Now I say I was "experimenting" because it didn't go so well. One specific component of the Lit. Circles was the task of Making Connections. For some reason it was really difficult for me to teach Making Connections. I think the problem had to do with lack of modeling, poor examples, and the fact that I didn't spend enough time really exploring the kinds of connections students can make and discussing and applying how connections fit into students' schemas.
In addition, my management of the Lit. Circles was fairly poor. Also, I wasn't entirely sure of my students' reading abilities the first time I administered Lit. Circles. Lastly, I used school novels which are falling apart and have huge clumps of pages missing. Therefore, my students weren't motivated to fulfill their responsibilities.
About two weeks ago I began reading class novels with my students. Periods 2 and 3 are reading The Teacher's Funeral by Richard Peck, periods 5 and 6 are reading Shakespeare's Secret by Elise Broach and period 7 is reading Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate Dicamillo. This time, I have organized the book reading much more like a Book Club than a Lit. Circle. The students and I like it a lot better.
For starters, we are all reading the same book at the same pace. Most of the time we read aloud, but on one day of the week students are responsible for reading a chapter or two by themselves. Students reading levels have greatly improved which gives them the confidence to read aloud, the capacity to think past word recognition, and comprehend and apply what they’re reading.
My students are also held more accountable for the information they read. Therefore, they have more interest vested in reading.
Furthermore, I’m now a more experienced teacher. I know how to keep my students interested, constantly check for comprehension, ensure that they are making connections to keep up motivation and to demonstrate the novel’s relevance in their lives.
I’m looking forward to trying Lit. Circles again next year, but I think it will be a two month process instead of a two week process.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Cody
This story involves a student named Cody. Cody is pretty close to an excellent student. He comes to school on most days, he is always in uniform, he completes at least 95% of his work in content classes, and he is very polite, most of the time.
However, there are sometimes when Cody is far less than polite. Cody has a very serious temper problem. He has been known to throw raging fits and uproars all across the building. He usually ends up doing more harm to himself than anyone around him. However, other students are still emotionally and mentally affected by his actions. Also, teachers are starting to become disturbed and increasingly worried about Cody’s health because these acts are so random in that one minute he is perfectly fine and the next minute he may be banging his head against the floor or punching the wall with his bare hands.
I too am worried or was worried. However, I have to selfishly admit that my worrying wasn’t as sincere as it should have been because Cody has never thrown a temper tantrum in my room. We always had a great student-teacher relationship. I also held a great relationship with Cody’s mom. We had several conversations about Cody’s behavior in everyone else’s class. She told me one issue was that Cody has a problem with male authority. I agreed with his mom and we almost always ended our conversations with no objective and/or written resolutions.
It was February before his mom or I decided that a specific plan of action needed to be taken. The reason: Cody finally decided to throw a temper tantrum in my classroom.
It began with Cody and another female student having a minor spat about a desk. I asked Cody to move and sit closer to me as I always do and he said, “But I was here first.” I thought nothing of it and continued to wait for Cody to move using my teacher evil eye. After all, a 6th grade teachers hears, “But I was here first” a million times a day. Cody didn’t move this time. My third prompt was for Cody to take a step outside to calm down. I could tell that he was approaching his temper stage and we agreed previously that he would go outside when this occurred. Cody didn’t move. At this point, my mind and heart became fearful. Then I asked Cody if I needed to call the security guard to escort him out. He remained as still as the wooden desk he was just fighting for. When I walked over to buzz the main office, Cody got up in a rage like never before. He threw his Communication Arts textbook clear across the room and his pencil in the opposite direction. Even though my room is carpeted, Cody managed to throw the pencil with such vigor that it broke in three places. He slammed my door open and began banging his head against the lockers.
I was furious because I could not handle this problem the way I would with a child in my family or at home. I was sad because as far as I was concerned, Cody’s relationship with me ended in a matter of unthoughtful seconds. I was frustrated because I knew that he didn’t mean to do it, but because no one had ever dared to do anything like this in my room, my students were anxiously awaiting my reaction as well as Cody’s consequence. I had to make an example- an extreme example. Coincidentally, he was the first and the last. I wrote a behavior infraction referral on Cody as well as a referral for Lumina Counseling. This was my first and last referral as well. Cody received three days of In School Suspension and three days of full length lunch detention with me. He wrote me an apology letter and I acknowledged it by saying thank you and letting him know that it would take a long time for our relationship to resume in total normality. He nodded in approval.
Since then, I haven’t had any real issues with Cody. Eventually, the counselor and I urged his mother to consent to Lumina Counseling for Cody. Everything sounds well right?
Wrong. While Cody hasn’t had any infractions in my classroom, he is still busy throwing massive temper tantrums with other teachers in the building. The consequences for Cody are limited because he rarely hurts anyone except for himself. The problem is that his disruption to the learning environment is fierce. Furthermore, a few other students see this and are starting to think they too can get away with that kind of behavior. What do we do?
However, there are sometimes when Cody is far less than polite. Cody has a very serious temper problem. He has been known to throw raging fits and uproars all across the building. He usually ends up doing more harm to himself than anyone around him. However, other students are still emotionally and mentally affected by his actions. Also, teachers are starting to become disturbed and increasingly worried about Cody’s health because these acts are so random in that one minute he is perfectly fine and the next minute he may be banging his head against the floor or punching the wall with his bare hands.
I too am worried or was worried. However, I have to selfishly admit that my worrying wasn’t as sincere as it should have been because Cody has never thrown a temper tantrum in my room. We always had a great student-teacher relationship. I also held a great relationship with Cody’s mom. We had several conversations about Cody’s behavior in everyone else’s class. She told me one issue was that Cody has a problem with male authority. I agreed with his mom and we almost always ended our conversations with no objective and/or written resolutions.
It was February before his mom or I decided that a specific plan of action needed to be taken. The reason: Cody finally decided to throw a temper tantrum in my classroom.
It began with Cody and another female student having a minor spat about a desk. I asked Cody to move and sit closer to me as I always do and he said, “But I was here first.” I thought nothing of it and continued to wait for Cody to move using my teacher evil eye. After all, a 6th grade teachers hears, “But I was here first” a million times a day. Cody didn’t move this time. My third prompt was for Cody to take a step outside to calm down. I could tell that he was approaching his temper stage and we agreed previously that he would go outside when this occurred. Cody didn’t move. At this point, my mind and heart became fearful. Then I asked Cody if I needed to call the security guard to escort him out. He remained as still as the wooden desk he was just fighting for. When I walked over to buzz the main office, Cody got up in a rage like never before. He threw his Communication Arts textbook clear across the room and his pencil in the opposite direction. Even though my room is carpeted, Cody managed to throw the pencil with such vigor that it broke in three places. He slammed my door open and began banging his head against the lockers.
I was furious because I could not handle this problem the way I would with a child in my family or at home. I was sad because as far as I was concerned, Cody’s relationship with me ended in a matter of unthoughtful seconds. I was frustrated because I knew that he didn’t mean to do it, but because no one had ever dared to do anything like this in my room, my students were anxiously awaiting my reaction as well as Cody’s consequence. I had to make an example- an extreme example. Coincidentally, he was the first and the last. I wrote a behavior infraction referral on Cody as well as a referral for Lumina Counseling. This was my first and last referral as well. Cody received three days of In School Suspension and three days of full length lunch detention with me. He wrote me an apology letter and I acknowledged it by saying thank you and letting him know that it would take a long time for our relationship to resume in total normality. He nodded in approval.
Since then, I haven’t had any real issues with Cody. Eventually, the counselor and I urged his mother to consent to Lumina Counseling for Cody. Everything sounds well right?
Wrong. While Cody hasn’t had any infractions in my classroom, he is still busy throwing massive temper tantrums with other teachers in the building. The consequences for Cody are limited because he rarely hurts anyone except for himself. The problem is that his disruption to the learning environment is fierce. Furthermore, a few other students see this and are starting to think they too can get away with that kind of behavior. What do we do?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Benchmarks, Benchmarks
It's been almost a month since the Benchmark frenzy at my school. My kids improved a whopping 12% in less than four weeks. 58 out of 59 students improved their test scores in either their Overall Assessment, Information Literacy, Reading, or Writing. 35 of my 59 students improved by 10% or more on their Overall Assessment which is 59% of my total population.
More data on my students:
Positives Areas for Improvement
ü 6th graders improved by 10% since the last Predictive Benchmark, resulting in an overall score of 56%.
We are striving for a minimum overall score of 76%.
ü 6th graders improved by 11% in the area of Reading, resulting in an overall reading score of 54%.
We need to increase our Reading score by 22%.
ü 6th graders improved by 3% in the area of Writing, resulting in an overall reading score of 62%.
We need to increase our Writing score by 14%.
ü 6th graders improved by 4% since the last Diagnostic Benchmark.
ü Currently, there are NO 6th graders testing in Tier 1!
ü Currently, there are 21 6th graders testing in Tier 3!
ü Currently, there are 9 6th graders testing in Tier 4!
More data on my students:
Positives Areas for Improvement
ü 6th graders improved by 10% since the last Predictive Benchmark, resulting in an overall score of 56%.
We are striving for a minimum overall score of 76%.
ü 6th graders improved by 11% in the area of Reading, resulting in an overall reading score of 54%.
We need to increase our Reading score by 22%.
ü 6th graders improved by 3% in the area of Writing, resulting in an overall reading score of 62%.
We need to increase our Writing score by 14%.
ü 6th graders improved by 4% since the last Diagnostic Benchmark.
ü Currently, there are NO 6th graders testing in Tier 1!
ü Currently, there are 21 6th graders testing in Tier 3!
ü Currently, there are 9 6th graders testing in Tier 4!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
It Goes a Little Something Like This...
Here’s a quick, but accurate summary of how the year has gone in regards to emotions and sentiments.
August- I’m going to save the entire school from a state take over.
September- I’m tired, but I have to stay in the race to save the whole school from state take over. My kids are very different.
October- I’m tired. I don’t think I can save everyone. For lack of a better term, I think my kids are “slow”. Maybe I’ll just stick to trying to save my kids.
November- Did I miss Thanksgiving Break? When is it already? Can I really save all of my kids? “I think I can, I think I can, I think- I can.” I have to hang in there!
December- Have I really been teaching for three months? Why did they let me in the classroom again? I just need about a week to sleep, a whole week and then I’ll be fine. What’s all the fuss about Benchmarks?
January- I’m back. Things are different. I had soooooooooo much fun over break. I haven’t had this much fun since graduation weekend in May. Teaching has caused me to lose the fun part of my life. I don’t want to go back. Let’s call off sick the first day back to school. What am I going to do next year because it is definitely not teaching?! If I could growl I would. Don’t get me wrong, teaching is nice, but this is no way to live your life, at least mine. I’m exhausted all the time, I never have time to exercise, and I don’t hang out with my friends anymore. On top of all of this, I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately to get my students’ Benchmarks scores up. I only have a little less than four weeks to increase their overall score. Did I mention that I can’t save all of my kids?
February- Okay, this is getting a lot easier. I have been utilizing the Pacing Guide which gives me 1000 topics to teach in four weeks. I’ve managed to teach 12 of the 1000 topics. Apparently, this was just right because my kids increased their scores by 12%. I’m speechless. So are my kids, so is the administration, so is everyone else in the building. We haven’t stopped getting compliments. This is getting a lot better. Especially since my friends and I started the “Let’s Not Become Old Hags in our Twenties” Club. In this club, we force each other to do “undergradish” activities for at least eight hours a week. It’s been working out great. We’re coming up on March and another Benchmark test, the MAP, and the SRI. Let’s see what happens.
August- I’m going to save the entire school from a state take over.
September- I’m tired, but I have to stay in the race to save the whole school from state take over. My kids are very different.
October- I’m tired. I don’t think I can save everyone. For lack of a better term, I think my kids are “slow”. Maybe I’ll just stick to trying to save my kids.
November- Did I miss Thanksgiving Break? When is it already? Can I really save all of my kids? “I think I can, I think I can, I think- I can.” I have to hang in there!
December- Have I really been teaching for three months? Why did they let me in the classroom again? I just need about a week to sleep, a whole week and then I’ll be fine. What’s all the fuss about Benchmarks?
January- I’m back. Things are different. I had soooooooooo much fun over break. I haven’t had this much fun since graduation weekend in May. Teaching has caused me to lose the fun part of my life. I don’t want to go back. Let’s call off sick the first day back to school. What am I going to do next year because it is definitely not teaching?! If I could growl I would. Don’t get me wrong, teaching is nice, but this is no way to live your life, at least mine. I’m exhausted all the time, I never have time to exercise, and I don’t hang out with my friends anymore. On top of all of this, I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately to get my students’ Benchmarks scores up. I only have a little less than four weeks to increase their overall score. Did I mention that I can’t save all of my kids?
February- Okay, this is getting a lot easier. I have been utilizing the Pacing Guide which gives me 1000 topics to teach in four weeks. I’ve managed to teach 12 of the 1000 topics. Apparently, this was just right because my kids increased their scores by 12%. I’m speechless. So are my kids, so is the administration, so is everyone else in the building. We haven’t stopped getting compliments. This is getting a lot better. Especially since my friends and I started the “Let’s Not Become Old Hags in our Twenties” Club. In this club, we force each other to do “undergradish” activities for at least eight hours a week. It’s been working out great. We’re coming up on March and another Benchmark test, the MAP, and the SRI. Let’s see what happens.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
My Beliefs About Reading
In regards to reading, I agree with Shauna that after reading the Beers' text, it became obvious that I have a lot of learn. Here is a little sample of what I do know. It is my belief that proper modeling, vocabulary, comprehension, and fluency are all equally important in producing strong readers.
People- students and adult peers- will always do what you do. Hence, modeling can be extremely advantageous or disadvantageous. A think-aloud in which teachers model the reading process is always a great learning tool. However, I am a firm believer that it must be done repetitivly and utilize all the strategies you wants students to learn.
I view vocabulary to be important because it is at the root of all language acquisition. How can a student comprehend a statement or a text if they don't understand the words that make up the statement? However, vocabulary building exercises must be strategic. For instance, I use words that are the names of skills. For example, a few of my vocabulary words are Compare, Contrast, Inference, Plot, Main Idea, and Figurative Language. This way, students can readily define the concept and use Context Clues, Inferencing, and Prior Knowledge to identify the element when they see it in a passage. If students can recognize what strategy or element the author is employing, they can usually answer any comprehension or analytical questions that follow.
Obviously, comprehension is important, not just for the sake of comprehending, but because it is the foundation for higher order thinking skills. In my opinion, comprehension of a text is the most basic expectation for a reader. In other words, the least and contrastingly the most, we expect from readers is that they comprehend the plot of a story.
This is where fluency arrives. Fluency helps make comprehension an easier task. It can make reading more interesting for struggling readers and provides students with the opportunity to use their imagination while reading. Fluency seems to be the driving force that can make reading, comprehension, and vocabulary more cohesive and fluid. Ultimately, one can't and shouldn't exist without the other.
People- students and adult peers- will always do what you do. Hence, modeling can be extremely advantageous or disadvantageous. A think-aloud in which teachers model the reading process is always a great learning tool. However, I am a firm believer that it must be done repetitivly and utilize all the strategies you wants students to learn.
I view vocabulary to be important because it is at the root of all language acquisition. How can a student comprehend a statement or a text if they don't understand the words that make up the statement? However, vocabulary building exercises must be strategic. For instance, I use words that are the names of skills. For example, a few of my vocabulary words are Compare, Contrast, Inference, Plot, Main Idea, and Figurative Language. This way, students can readily define the concept and use Context Clues, Inferencing, and Prior Knowledge to identify the element when they see it in a passage. If students can recognize what strategy or element the author is employing, they can usually answer any comprehension or analytical questions that follow.
Obviously, comprehension is important, not just for the sake of comprehending, but because it is the foundation for higher order thinking skills. In my opinion, comprehension of a text is the most basic expectation for a reader. In other words, the least and contrastingly the most, we expect from readers is that they comprehend the plot of a story.
This is where fluency arrives. Fluency helps make comprehension an easier task. It can make reading more interesting for struggling readers and provides students with the opportunity to use their imagination while reading. Fluency seems to be the driving force that can make reading, comprehension, and vocabulary more cohesive and fluid. Ultimately, one can't and shouldn't exist without the other.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Putting It All Together
I'm not sure of where to start. It's been almost a month since my last entry. In that time I've had a student get an abortion, the same student confess to me that her brother got her pregnant, a student have a nervous breakdown because other students ridicule her, and a student who has revealed that his parents don't like Black people and that he's really trying hard not to be the same. Amidst all of this, I decided to return to the St. Louis Public Schools' Family next year. The following is a public exploration of some of the reasons I have decided to stay at Long Middle C.E.C. Academy and an employee of St. Louis Public Schools. I figure if I can list more reasons to stay than to leave, then perhaps my decision making skills are somewhat sound.
To Stay...
1. would mean that I'm not giving up. This means that I have seen a guiding light in my kids and in my colleagues that is worth a fight. It means that I don't believe my school or my kids are statistics waiting in line to fail. Our kids have the ability to succeed and I would put my life on it. The problem, one of them anyway, seems to be a misunderstanding of the cognitive process. All students don't take in information the same way or in the same amount of time. It's amazing how the seemingly obvious can be vastly misunderstood and distorted beyond belief. As educators, some of us have turned this phrase into statements or sentiments like, "I've taught this concept for four weeks and utilized 6 cutting edge strategies and 75% of my students understand it, so the other 25% are incapable." We have equated time to quality instruction. We have learned to lean on our brightest children to boost our numbers instead of noting that authentic instructors find ways to reach ALL students. I am not exempt from error, but I am an authentic instructor in the making, therefore, I can't give up.
2. would mean that I'm supporting the Long Middle C.E.C. Academy Administration. The administration consist of Black females. Pardon reason #2 if you are unable to identify with my claims. I work in a building in which I am one of two Black female teachers. The other Black female teacher is twice my age, teaches in a self-contained classroom, and has a less than stellar reputation. In other words, we are- in some ways-world apart. The administration on the other hand, consist of all 30 something Black women, with the exception of the principal who has the spirit and energy of a 19 year-old. Not only have I bonded with these women, but they have welcomed me in with more than enough support. If there was ever a mix for instant family, they would be the main ingredients. We are like mothers, daughters, and sisters. As the youngest I tend to get hazed and spoiled simultaneously. Even though it gets difficult when your only real support system is the administration, they have modeled perfectly the time, place, and degree to which professionalism is required. In this case, to think of leaving would be to think of losing my "mothers" and "sisters". It is simply unacceptable at this juncture in my life.
3. would mean that I have another chance to prove to myself that my kids can meet AYP on state and district wide exams. As much as I "hate" to admit it, my kids' scores really dampered my mood around 3rd quarter. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I felt like my students could not achieve, but I KNOW they can. I'm not saying they will all score in the "Advanced" category, but I am confident that because I now have a better understanding of what I'm doing and my purpose in an SLPS classroom, my students will have an edge that they didn't have before. On the other hand, in the event that my scores don't improve over the next year and a half, that's a probably a good way to tell that I belong in Higher Education as previously planned! LOL What's more, is that I will not have given up!
To leave...
1. would mean I would have to give up everything I just mentioned: the good, the bad, the ugly, the super-ugly, the experiences that can't be described by the best author or the most dramatic storyteller, the emotions you can only feel when connected with moody, "she doesn't want to be my friend anymore" and "he's looking at the girl I like", sixth graders. Who would turn all this down?
To Stay...
1. would mean that I'm not giving up. This means that I have seen a guiding light in my kids and in my colleagues that is worth a fight. It means that I don't believe my school or my kids are statistics waiting in line to fail. Our kids have the ability to succeed and I would put my life on it. The problem, one of them anyway, seems to be a misunderstanding of the cognitive process. All students don't take in information the same way or in the same amount of time. It's amazing how the seemingly obvious can be vastly misunderstood and distorted beyond belief. As educators, some of us have turned this phrase into statements or sentiments like, "I've taught this concept for four weeks and utilized 6 cutting edge strategies and 75% of my students understand it, so the other 25% are incapable." We have equated time to quality instruction. We have learned to lean on our brightest children to boost our numbers instead of noting that authentic instructors find ways to reach ALL students. I am not exempt from error, but I am an authentic instructor in the making, therefore, I can't give up.
2. would mean that I'm supporting the Long Middle C.E.C. Academy Administration. The administration consist of Black females. Pardon reason #2 if you are unable to identify with my claims. I work in a building in which I am one of two Black female teachers. The other Black female teacher is twice my age, teaches in a self-contained classroom, and has a less than stellar reputation. In other words, we are- in some ways-world apart. The administration on the other hand, consist of all 30 something Black women, with the exception of the principal who has the spirit and energy of a 19 year-old. Not only have I bonded with these women, but they have welcomed me in with more than enough support. If there was ever a mix for instant family, they would be the main ingredients. We are like mothers, daughters, and sisters. As the youngest I tend to get hazed and spoiled simultaneously. Even though it gets difficult when your only real support system is the administration, they have modeled perfectly the time, place, and degree to which professionalism is required. In this case, to think of leaving would be to think of losing my "mothers" and "sisters". It is simply unacceptable at this juncture in my life.
3. would mean that I have another chance to prove to myself that my kids can meet AYP on state and district wide exams. As much as I "hate" to admit it, my kids' scores really dampered my mood around 3rd quarter. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I felt like my students could not achieve, but I KNOW they can. I'm not saying they will all score in the "Advanced" category, but I am confident that because I now have a better understanding of what I'm doing and my purpose in an SLPS classroom, my students will have an edge that they didn't have before. On the other hand, in the event that my scores don't improve over the next year and a half, that's a probably a good way to tell that I belong in Higher Education as previously planned! LOL What's more, is that I will not have given up!
To leave...
1. would mean I would have to give up everything I just mentioned: the good, the bad, the ugly, the super-ugly, the experiences that can't be described by the best author or the most dramatic storyteller, the emotions you can only feel when connected with moody, "she doesn't want to be my friend anymore" and "he's looking at the girl I like", sixth graders. Who would turn all this down?
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Bitter-Sweet
I have never ever experienced so many emotions about school in a such a short period of time. I'm writing this because the emotions have gotten to be too much for me. I don't know if this is good or bad. My emotions are mixed, but right now-more than anything- I wish I was incapable of feeling it all at once.
It all started last week the day after New Years. I had a great holiday break. A break that was filled with undergrad-ish activities. Activities that I had not participated in since the weekend of graduation, May 11th. I caught a glimpse of what my life was like before teaching. Constant gut-busting laughter, shopping without money, eating out all the time (again with no real money in sight), going on several dates a day (probably because I don't have any money), begging my sisters for money, sitting around with my family, and going to church without thinking about all the work I have to do. On Tuesday night, right before it was time to go back to school, I realized that I no longer had any of those things and as soon as I walked into work the next morning, the fun would surely be gone. To keep from losing the feeling so quickly, I took a personal day. While the personal day helped quite a bit at the moment, it was still only temporary.
The rest of the week was fine because there were only two days left. Also, the principal gave me a special project which was good and not-so-good. It was more work, but at least it meant that she had at least some confidence in my ability.
Then Monday comes. I get my Benchmark Acuity scores and they are horrible. The silver lining in the situation is that I'm behind on teaching whats in the SLPS Pacing Guide, so I expected my students to not perform well. I still had that nagging, miniscule, but big enough to feel, guilt feeling. My administrators and team leaders didn't frown upon me the way I anticipated, but they definitely made it clear that the scores needed to improve. This was a little dissapointing because Benchmark Scores were minimalized by some. However, I have all the confidence that now that I know the real importance of Benchmark Tests and the most important GLE's to teach, that my students' scores will improve.
To add to it all, my school is a "High Priority School" which means a lot of things for a lot of people. For teachers, it means A LOT MORE PAPERWORK. I suppose this is working for veteran teachers, but for new teachers, me in particular, it is an overwhelming amount of pressure. To be more clear, it's right in bewteen overwhelming and surreal. Since the holiday break, there hasn't been one day when I haven't thought about the possibilty that this could be a dream and I could wake up in a split second and not be in the middle of a deadline to turn in something.
I'm not really sure how this blog entry will be perceived- pessimistic, optimistic, bitter, sweet, bitter-sweet. What I do know is that right now I'm so tired of feeling drastic emotions, that I've decided not to feel anything, at least for tonight.
I've racked my brain trying to come up with answers. The only notion that makes sense is that G-d is putting me through this, as every other challenge, to be stronger, a better person, and a better Christian. What's puzzling, is that usually these challenges are usually the kind that I don't want to endeavor. My job is undoubtedly one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced, but no matter what happens, I keep wanting to go back. Go figure.
It all started last week the day after New Years. I had a great holiday break. A break that was filled with undergrad-ish activities. Activities that I had not participated in since the weekend of graduation, May 11th. I caught a glimpse of what my life was like before teaching. Constant gut-busting laughter, shopping without money, eating out all the time (again with no real money in sight), going on several dates a day (probably because I don't have any money), begging my sisters for money, sitting around with my family, and going to church without thinking about all the work I have to do. On Tuesday night, right before it was time to go back to school, I realized that I no longer had any of those things and as soon as I walked into work the next morning, the fun would surely be gone. To keep from losing the feeling so quickly, I took a personal day. While the personal day helped quite a bit at the moment, it was still only temporary.
The rest of the week was fine because there were only two days left. Also, the principal gave me a special project which was good and not-so-good. It was more work, but at least it meant that she had at least some confidence in my ability.
Then Monday comes. I get my Benchmark Acuity scores and they are horrible. The silver lining in the situation is that I'm behind on teaching whats in the SLPS Pacing Guide, so I expected my students to not perform well. I still had that nagging, miniscule, but big enough to feel, guilt feeling. My administrators and team leaders didn't frown upon me the way I anticipated, but they definitely made it clear that the scores needed to improve. This was a little dissapointing because Benchmark Scores were minimalized by some. However, I have all the confidence that now that I know the real importance of Benchmark Tests and the most important GLE's to teach, that my students' scores will improve.
To add to it all, my school is a "High Priority School" which means a lot of things for a lot of people. For teachers, it means A LOT MORE PAPERWORK. I suppose this is working for veteran teachers, but for new teachers, me in particular, it is an overwhelming amount of pressure. To be more clear, it's right in bewteen overwhelming and surreal. Since the holiday break, there hasn't been one day when I haven't thought about the possibilty that this could be a dream and I could wake up in a split second and not be in the middle of a deadline to turn in something.
I'm not really sure how this blog entry will be perceived- pessimistic, optimistic, bitter, sweet, bitter-sweet. What I do know is that right now I'm so tired of feeling drastic emotions, that I've decided not to feel anything, at least for tonight.
I've racked my brain trying to come up with answers. The only notion that makes sense is that G-d is putting me through this, as every other challenge, to be stronger, a better person, and a better Christian. What's puzzling, is that usually these challenges are usually the kind that I don't want to endeavor. My job is undoubtedly one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced, but no matter what happens, I keep wanting to go back. Go figure.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Just News
I can't believe I've been teaching for a whole semester. I was soooo nervous when I first began this venture some four months ago. I wasn't sure if teaching was indeed the profession for me. After making irreplacable bonds with students and a very few select colleagues, witnessing students make small, but significant academic gains, resolving conflicts with students who have behavior issues, personally mentoring some female students, and having not-so-good days, but still just as eager to return the next day, I am absolutely, positively sure that I have chosen the right profession.
During the first semester we studied Poetry, Dictionary Skills, Literature Circles, Letter Writing, and Main Idea. Towards the end of the quarter, students completed a poster project in which they had to choose one of the units we studied, create a poster with all the elements they learned, and teach it to me as if I'm the student. I even called the students by their last names and allowed them to call me Ashley. They had to get comfortable with teaching and me impersonating them. I was quite pleased with the results. Students were very comfortable after a while. We're still finishing up the posters, but we will be done by Friday.
After that, we're going to implement an intense 6 part Vocabulary Strategy into our regular curriculumn. I am overwhelmingly excited.
During the first semester we studied Poetry, Dictionary Skills, Literature Circles, Letter Writing, and Main Idea. Towards the end of the quarter, students completed a poster project in which they had to choose one of the units we studied, create a poster with all the elements they learned, and teach it to me as if I'm the student. I even called the students by their last names and allowed them to call me Ashley. They had to get comfortable with teaching and me impersonating them. I was quite pleased with the results. Students were very comfortable after a while. We're still finishing up the posters, but we will be done by Friday.
After that, we're going to implement an intense 6 part Vocabulary Strategy into our regular curriculumn. I am overwhelmingly excited.
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